Being an only child has its advantages and disadvantages. Growing up I was easily entertained because I was used to having to entertain myself as I had no siblings. I was used to having my space, my toys, and my time. As I got older and had more friends I found that I really needed my "alone" time. I would have a sleep over and by noon the next day I was ready to have my friend go home. We would go on camping trips and have friends join us and I would have to find a way to "get away" because I was so used to having time to myself. I used the time to relax and refocus as I would get overwhelmed very quickly by lots of people being around me. The strangest part of this need for alone time is that my love language is quality time. Anthony was the first person that I could stand to be around all the time. In fact, the more I was around him the more I wanted to be with him. It was strange for me. I knew I could marry him because I loved to be around someone all the time for the first time in my life. So this new love for being around people did not go all across the board. In fact, Anthony was the only person I could stand to be around for more than 24 hours. :) We had friends over a couple summers ago to work on our deck and I had to go take a nap to have a "break" from our friends.
So in November Anthony's brother and sister in law came to live with us. I was really nervous about having people around all the time. I was more nervous for them than I was for myself because I would get kinda grumpy when people were around too much. I had many strategies in my head of how I would cope with togetherness. So when Jeremiah and Meredith decided to go to Pennsylvania for Christmas with her family, I thought I would need the break. The exact opposite was true. I missed them. I missed having people around all the time. I had grown to love community and family and I didn't even know it. :)
So I started asking God what changed because it wasn't normal for me to love having people around. I realized that I had struggled with perfectionism and striving. I would not allow anyone ot come over unless my house was completely clean and I had food to feed them. After having kids I have realized that I will never have friends over if I try to live by those standards. It just is not possible. In having people here all the time they see my dirty floors, laundry piles, and clutter and it is okay. I have learned that it is much more important to spend time with those I love than to keep a meticulous house. I cared way too much what people thought about me and my home. I quickly discovered that people's opinions are me are higher because of my relationship with them not because I created a clean house and good food. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment